Sunday, July 14, 2013

BREAKING NEWS: No "Glee"

I have a confession to make: I have NEVER,EVER,EVER watched "Glee" from opening tease to closing credits.

Everything I know about the show I know from secondary sources.

I watched its inspiration, Disney's HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL trilogy, and since I knew "Glee" was intended as a very unsentimental satire, I avoided it like the plague.

Nevertheless, I was still shocked to hear that one of its stars, Cory Montieth, was taken from us yesterday.

Vancouver police suspect no foul play. A complete autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow.

According to sources at ABC News,Cory checked into the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel in  Vancouver on the 6th, and was supposed to check out yesterday. When he didn't, the staff went to his room and found his body.

What makes this all the more shocking is that 31-year-old Cory was just getting his life back on track after dealing with addiction.

My thoughts and prayers go out to my "Gleek" friends, as well as to those who have worked with him these past years, especially Jane Lynch, better known on the show as Sue Sylvester and currently playing Miss Hannigan in the Broadway revival of "Annie" at the Palace Theatre.

The "Cheerios" may have lost a voice, but the Heavenly Choir is about to welcome a new addition.

Happy Trails, Buckaroo.
Steve

Friday, July 12, 2013

Why,Russia,Why?

Why did you ignore the best advice of your allies and grant asylum to Edward Snowden? Why did you hang on to your Don-Corleone-esque  line of thinking and make him an offer he couldn't refuse? As longtime readers of this blog are no doubt aware, I am willing to look past the Cold War years and thank the Russian people for their  contributions to the worlds of science, music and sports,but when your President, (I repeat, YOUR President!) who refused to let this man in as long as he kept spouting his anti-American propaganda,
goes back  on his word,it's enough to make this freedom-loving American question our friendship. When  the people overthrew the Soviet Union, I was thinking of visiting Moscow and seeing both its iconic landmarks and the fruits of glasnost.  I   begin to question the logic of this plan.

A very disappointed Steven Eisenpreis

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

It's Your Blog Too!

It has come to my attention that while many of you out there in Readerland love this blog, some of you would like to see shorter blogs, and country shout-outs that don't involve the rest of the world. (You can blame Casey Kasem for the current country shout-outs.One of his traditions on AMERICAN TOP 40 was plugging the stations that broadcast the show, for example,"AT-40 comes to you from Hollywood on great radio stations around the world like Most Music Power 95, WPLJ, New York." Some of those taglines were tailored for the listeners in their respective markets and intended to say, "Thank you for listening to US and not THEM," and they just wound up on an international program of the magnitude of an AT-40. You can also blame CNN and their "national local news" concept. Oh,by the way, Wilkommen back, Germany!)

Well, it has been said,the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,so, in the interest of fairness, I'm putting the ball in your court. Shoot me an email at steveneisenpreis@gmail.com with your name and country
and "It's My Blog Too!" in the subject line along with what you would like to see more and less of. If your idea is one of the three best, I'll make a donation in your name to The Garden of Dreams Foundation, established by Madison  Square Garden to provide educational opportunities to economically disadvantaged children, (For more info, log on to http://www.gardenofdreamsfoundation.org .) No purchase necessary, void where prohibited, and PUH-LEEZ! Nothing of a violent,pornographic,racist,or Anti-American nature.
SERIOUSLY!)

We here in the US just celebrated our independence,  so, come on, You,The People! Help me form a more perfect blog!

Bye, Buckaroos!
Steve

Sunday, July 7, 2013

This Just In!

Russia is back as the country outside the USA with the most views of this blog, while Germany has left the building. Spasiba for your support!

Steve's Second Movie Review Blog: The Great Chocolate Factory Mystery In 4D

There are two advantages THE GREAT CHOCOLATE FACTORY MYSTERY IN 4D has over many of this summer's blockbusters:1) You can only see it at Hershey's Chocolate World, right across the street from Hersheypark, and 2)It's a completely immersive 4D extravaganza.

Sometime ago, I told you that unlike M&M's whose characters have distinctive voices and personalities, (For example, Billy West of "Ren & Stimpy," "Woody Woodpecker," and "Futurama,"  among others, plays the Red M&M and Vanessa Williams plays Ms. Brown.) Hershey characters have no distinctive voices. Although the Hershey characters do not currently appear in any TV advertising, Hershey (Bar,  the leader),  Reese (as in the Peanut Butter Cup, sidekick and comic relief) and Kiss (the cute-but-tough female) carry the movie, (The fourth dimension is provided by special effects such as bubbles and strobe lighting.)  which,truth to tell, is no DESPICABLE ME 2,  but, fortunately, is  no THE LONE RANGER either.

After a briefing in the lobby, guests are shown into a theatre where they are told that there's  something amiss  in the Hershey factory. The chocolate IS edible, but it doesn't really taste the same, and after Kiss, also played via live interactive animation by a hostess,  presses audience members into service, it's up to the audience to control the rest of the action up to the ending. There are cute supporting characters and a villain who reminds you of the old Warner Bros. title card, "Don't hiss the villain. (NOT MUCH)", but they are just for show. The stars are clearly the product characters, but don't think, even for one minute, that Your Humble Reviewer is trying to scare you away. It IS a great way to meet fellow Hershey fans  and get involved in a movie unlike other productions that want you to, as Larry David would say, curb your enthusiasm.

The best part is,  if you want to just see this movie AND the free "Great American Chocolate Tour" ride, it will only cost you eight bucks, AND you get free Hershey's chocolate on your way out. TICKET!

Hope you had a Happy 4th of July!

Bye Buckaroos!
Steve

How I Spent My Vacation

Welcome back to the Blog! Hope all of you who celebrated in North America enjoyed your holidays! I'm here to tell you I did, FOR THE MOST PART! The one part I didn't happened in Harrisburg, PA when I was just taking my evening constitutional, and a man who, let's just say, didn't look like Brad Pitt any more than I look like Lindsay Vonn (I think I look a little more like a slightly older Leo DiCaprio, but I digress.)
asked me, out of the blue, if I could help him get on a bus to Wilkes-Barre, which, for those of you non-US
readers,especially those who haven't seen our version of THE OFFICE, is, like  Scranton, an anchor of the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre metropolitan area and one of the top twenty cities in Pennsylvania. Now,  like my namesake Stefon on SNL,  I  like to help people find great New York restaurants,  even if some of them are at Citi Field, home of the last-place New York Mets, (For example, Shake Shack, but there are a LOT of 'em all over NYC and even in a few international spots!) but, although my Mom and a lot of my relatives hail from Wilkes-Barre (which, for all you high-rollers, now has its own Mohegan Sun race-ino at the Pocono Downs track), I don't believe in funding the escape plans of strangers, particularly those who are unlikely to own  residences.

Despite running into that particular gentleman (?),  and  passing others who looked like they were about to confuse me  with the Ford Foundation and ask me to fund their important expeditions in search of the elusive "something-to-eat,"(But they didn't ask in so  many words.), and ANOTHER unfortunate incident, it was smooth sailing all the way. My time in Central Pennsylvania, comprised of Lancaster, York, Lebanon, Harrisburg, and surrounding areas, began on July 1 when I  visited the State Capitol and saw a veritable plethora of exhibits on Pennsylvania state history and the inner workings of Pennsylvania state government., all for the amazing low price of FREE! It wasn't the Smithsonian, but, hey, it was fun and informative. (The closest thing Harrisburg has to the Smithsonian is the State Museum, but I didn't get to see it this trip.)

The following day I visited the Whitaker Center for Science and the Arts, which is kinda like a cross between the American Museum of Natural History and Lincoln Center. One of the current exhibits on display is the Carnival of Health presented by Capital Blue Cross, featuring rides and games of chance (and even a fun house mirror) all themed around health and nutrition. (Interested? Visited http://www.whitakercenter.org.) Also at the Whitaker is Dino Adventure, the closest thing to Jurassic Park, only the animatronic dinosaurs have no appetite for humans, thank goodness! What Dino Adventure DOES have, in addition to the animatronic dinos, is a game that lets you channel your inner dinosaur.(How would Tempe Brennan handle THIS one? Hmmmm.) There's also a hurricane simulator, and about the only thing wrong with THAT, and this is a VERY big "only", is that it brings back memories of a certain Sandy. But at least it gives you incentive to prepare for the next big one! I also saw not one, but TWO IMAX 3D documentaries, DINOSAURS ALIVE, produced by my hometown American Museum of Natural History and narrated by Michael Douglas, and a very beautiful Canada-Mexico-UK coproduction, FLIGHT OF THE BUTTERFLIES. (Dinosaurs and butterflies. Now THAT'S an odd couple!)

After a workout at an impressive local gym, I returned to the Whitaker for a very special jazz concert performed by the US Army Field Band, which ran the gamut from Dixieland to big band, but the highlight of the evening was a stunning performance of Lee Greenwood's "God Bless The USA," followed by "America The Beautiful" as arranged by Ray Charles. If that wouldn't make you proud to be an American, I don't know what would!

However, the other unfortunate incident I referred to earlier happened when I returned to my room. I told the desk, in no uncertain terms, that I wanted Housekeeping to make up my room, but when I returned, the first things I said were, and I quote...

"OH,     MY.      GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My abode looked like a tsunami hit it! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, came in and did anything about it! The manager sent me a goodbye basket, along with a note asking me to call her if I had any problems. I  told her that not even PIGS would want to stay in a room like that, but other than that, I had a great time. (At least my hotel was in the same neighborhood as WGAL News 8,the Hearst-owned NBC affiliate.)

The next day I boarded the Capitol Area Transit bus, or the CAT for short,for Hershey. Only problem was, the bus stopped in the Cast Member  (Walt Disney liked to think of his theme park employees as members of a cast of a live show, and the term has stuck, not just at Disney parks, but at many others.) Entrance to Hersheypark and much as I loved it, I didn't plan on going there until the Fourth of July when I was all settle in, so I got the number of Sweet Ride, (Sweet? Chocolate? Get it?) a local taxi service, and within a half-hour, a driver came and took me to Hershey Lodge, a beautiful country estate which has everything from a sports bar to live appearances from Hershey Candy Ambassadors,  which is what they're now calling their product characters. I then visited the all-new Butterfly House at Hershey Gardens, which started as M.S. Hershey's personal rose garden and has become a full-on tourist attraction, and Tanger Outlets, which includes such prestigious brands as Famous Footwear, Reebok, Champion, Starbucks Coffee, and, although
they are in a town famous for its own world-class theme park, DISNEY. (I know what you're thinking, coals
to Newcastle, right? Actually, they love Mickey and company. The Giant Center,formerly the Hersheypark Arena,hosts "Disney Junior Live!," starring Sofia the First, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and other beloved characters, including, of course, the Mouse himself later this month. All the details await on
http://www.hersheypa.com. )

July 4th came around, and my celebration of America's birthday began at Hersheypark Place, formerly the Tudor Inn, now a family-oriented restaurant in Tudor Square, outside the Main Gate area of Hersheypark.
I met the three most-popular Ambassadors, Hershey, Reese, and Kiss, posed for photos, and even got a rubdown from Reese!(A giant package of two peanut butter cups giving me a rubdown. I can die now.KIDDING!) There was also a strolling troubador and jugglers, and, of course,a breakfast buffet. (I opted for Cheerios,skim  milk, Equal, OJ, Yoplait, and watermelon slices.) I proceeded to go on the rides, but I'm more of an "It's a small world" guy, so I stuck with low-thrill rides such as the carousel, the monorail,and the Hersheypark Two-Lane Turnpike.(One lane is for classic cars, the other is for sports cars.)
I also saw a lot of live shows, both around the park and at their Chevrolet Music Box Theatre.

I also  had fun on Hersheypark's own Boardwalk,a  faithful tribute to the great beaches on Coney Island, in Atlantic City, and at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware which boasts a public pool and water rides for all ages, and the largest Nathan's  Famous outside Coney Island, which happens to be the only Nathan's my trainer will let me eat at, EVER! My trainer's name is Julie, I love her like the sister I wish I had, but she CAN be tough!

Then, I went to Hershey's Chocolate World, one of many such worldwide attractions,(Another one is on Times Square.)and saw the new 4-D spectacular, "The Great Chocolate Factory Mystery!" (A complete review coming up in the next blog.)

A few hours and a meeting with Hershey Candy Ambassadors P.D. (short for Pay Day),Symphony,and Pattie (as in York Peppermint Pattie, originally made by the York Candy Company in nearby York,PA)later,
we (as in everybody in the park, not just in the editorial sense) headed out to the parking lot for the fireworks
show, which wasn't as big as Macy*s extravaganza, but it was still a great way to end a Fourth of July.

The next day, I visited The Hershey Story, a museum honoring Milton S. Hershey, a man of few words who
let his actions speak for him, and his long road from failed businessman to chocolate king and the beginnings of The Hershey Company and the town that bears his name, which, by the way, is still very much an idyllic small town where people look out for you and say Hello instead of "Excuse me," and where there are no people like the  guy in Harrisburg who wanted me to help him skip town. But, I digress. The Hershey Story is also the story of  Milton Hershey School,his way of giving back to the community in that it helps disadvantaged children of all grade levels, and the Hershey Theatre, (which I visited on my last trip) a showcase for traveling Broadway shows such as DISNEY'S BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, MONTY PYTHON'S SPAMALOT, and the Blue Man Group, to name but a few of the many things that set Hershey apart.

After a light, but satisfying lunch, the next stop was the AACA (American Antique Car Association) Museum,  where I took a trip from the Big Apple to San Francisco without ever leaving Hershey thanks to the best of an automotive century, then off to City Island where I saw the Harrisburg Senators (Washington Nationals Eastern League Affiliates) sweep the visiting Bowie BaySox (Baltimore Orioles Affiliates) in a doubleheader.

Even now, I'm trying to think of a way to top this particular vacation, but before I return to the real world, don't touch that "off" button, 'cause a review of "The Great Chocolate Factory Mystery" starts RIGHT NOW!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Almost forgot...

...Danke, Deutschland! You have bumped Russia down to the THIRD country outside the USA with the most views of this fine blog!

Auf Wiedersehn!
Steve