Steve's Smorgas-Blog

What's Up Steven Universe! (Google It or "Cartoon Network")

I know it's been a long time, but here we are again, and I'd like to start by wishing a happy Canada Day and a  happy 4th of July to all those who celebrate, and despite EVERYTHING, and I do mean EVERYTHING that's happened, especially between both of our countries, that should be a lot!

This time, we're going to try something COMPLETELY different: a Smorgas-Blog! (Hope it doesn't leave you Smorgas-BORED!)

APPETIZER: A Bronx Tale

THE SCENE: Yankee Stadium,One East 161st Street, The Bronx,New York

THE DATE: June 4,2025 (On Earth-2)

On both Earth-1 and Earth-2,Congregation Emanu-El of the City Of New York, America's leading Reform Jewish temple,is celebrating 180 years of history and growth from a simple building on Grand and Chrystie Streets in Manhattan's Jewish Quarter to a magnificent structure on Fifth Avenue and East 65th Street, and, to mark the occasion, the home standing New York Yankees have invited key representatives of Emanu-El, including Senior Rabbi Joshua N. Davidson (who performs the invocation,) Cantor Sara Anderson (performing the National Anthem and "God Bless America" in a handsome version of the official Yankee pinstriped jersey emblazoned with her honorary number,1 1/2, more on that later) with her husband Peter and beautiful baby Golda Grace (Number 2 1/2) in tow,and members of the Men's Club (including a handsome devil named Steven Eisenpreis,why DOES that name sound so familiar?!?) who perform the time-honored ritual of throwing out the first pitch after they stroll onto the field waving their Yankee caps at an insanely applauding audience as a video of Temple history unspools, Thanks in no small part to Emanu-El's presence, the Yanks go on to beat the visiting Cleveland Guardians, formerly the Indians, (LONG STORY!)by a 3-0 margin.

THE DATE: June 4,2025 (As it actually happened right here on Earth-1)

The Men's Club buys its tickets to the game like EVERYBODY ELSE,they don't even get a plug on the Fan Marquee (That honor goes to the Manhattan JCC, darn it!),a marching band from Joisey plays the Anthem after the pre-game parade, of Little League teams, the Yanks DJ spins the recording of the late,great Met Opera star,and honorary number 1 1/2 Robert Merrill (In the aforementioned alternate reality, Cantor Anderson, a devout Broadway and opera fan, would be paying homage to Bob by wearing his number.) singing "God Bless America", and some other lucky sons of guns throw out the first pitch. At least (A) the Yanks beat Cleveland in THIS reality as well,(B) we were serenaded by a marching band,and (C) we saw a live sporting event IN PERSON, and how cool is THAT?!? Besides, the aforementioned Rabbi Davidson is a loyal METS fan as are most of the clergy at Emanu-El.

THE MAIN COURSE: Speaking of Cleveland...

...That's where I'll be for July 4th Weekend. Everybody LOVES to pick on Cleveland, but in addition to being immortalized by fellow Steve Steven R. Gerber and Ohio native Val Mayerik in Marvel's surreal, classic "I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Underground" epic HOWARD THE DUCK, comedian Drew Carey on his epynomous ABC sitcom, and writer Harvey Pekar and Robert "Fritz the Cat" Crumb in a comic classic that IS underground, AMERICAN SPLENDOR, it's the home of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and where DJ Alan Freed coined that very term. CLE, as its residents call it, is also where Al Roker got his start as a weatherman,Don Imus, who lost his job in New York over a notorious racist, sexist slur, achieved national fame as a National Guard officer who called a McDonald's to order "!200 Hamburgers To Go",and also the home of the Guardians of Traffic, (Now you know where the team got its name!) and the movies MAJOR LEAGUE (made when they were STILL the Indians) and DRAFT DAY (starring Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner, and, unfortunately, Diddy). I'll also take a day trip to the Akron-Canton area, home of NBA star LeBron James (The Akron Hammer) and the Pro Football Home of Fame. 

SIDE ORDERS: A Hall of A Band

The Rock Hall is ALREADY spiritual home to Dolly Parton,Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, and ABBA, and I'm sure Brian Wilson, the leader of the Beach Boys,  Sly Stone of the Family Stone, who have recently passed,are already inducted, as well they should be. Sadly, Robert Cabot Sherman Jr., better known by his nickname, Bobby, was also taken from us by kidney cancer. To be perfectly honest, I don't think he qualifies as HOF material because a few of his hits were featured on a show a lot of you young 'uns never heard of called SHINDIG in the 60's and the majority of those hits charted very high in the 70s and he was VERY limited by his bubblegum label,but his hits, "La La La (If I Had You)", "Oklahoma City Times", "Cry Like A Baby",and "Turtles and Trees", to name a few, WERE the soundtrack of a lot of lives in the 70s. (At least Bobby deserves an Honorable Mention or Participation Trophy, if the HOF gives out such things.)

DESSERT: Groovy Movies

The Summer Movie Season looks very promising with SUPERMAN (Did I mention I'll also visit a shrine to the Man Of Steel's creators, Clevelanders Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster?), FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS,and SUPERGIRL (formerly SUPERGIRL: WOMAN OF TOMORROW. LOOOONG story!) on the horizon,but already I've seen Wes Anderson's THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME, starring Benicio del Toro as an eccentric millionaire and promising newcomer (and Kate Winslet's daughter) Mia Threapleton as the sole heiress, who wants no part of material wealth and prefers a vocation as a Bride of Our Boy, the Late, Great J.C. of Biblical Fame, in a fast paced bruised-forearm epic reminiscent of the Indiana Jones epics, and even Carl Barks' classic Uncle Scrooge stories, and Disney/Pixar's ELIO, which TRIES to measure up to the lofty standards set by TOY STORY, CARS, THE INCREDIBLES,and A BUG'S LIFE,but doesn't QUITE make the cut. (Still a good ninety minutes in an air-conditioned theatre, nonetheless.)

CHECK,PLEASE! Hope all of you reading in the East Coast made it out of this EXCRUCIATING heat wave in one piece, and that you say a prayer for our troops keeping the peace in the Middle East and Europe and our police officers doing the same here at home.

Talk to you from Cleveland!

Steve

DON'T Give My Regards to Lancaster, PA!

 If you've never been to the Sight & Sound Theater (formerly the Millenium Theater) in Lancaster, PA, keep it that way, OK?

Long story short: it began in 1976 with a slideshow presentation for the American bicentennial with equipment rented from the Amish-leaning Lancaster Bible College , and evolved into theatrical interpretations of Biblical stories.

If you live in New York, Philadelphia, Wilmington, or its home market of Harrisburg (including Hershey, which is WAY worthier of a visit, and not just from chocoholics!) no doubt you've seen spots for their latest production, a 30th anniversary revival of NOAH: THE MUSICAL. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't take the gargantuan bath its namesake took in Torah!

I have no kick against the Amish, I respect their right to worship as they see fit, and I remember the nice chicken dinner an elderly couple served me and a bunch of tired, but happy, Ranger fans on our way home from Hersheypark, but let's not kid ourselves, gang, under those antiquated outfits are the biggest bunch of hypocrites the world has ever known. These people claim to abhor modern culture, yet with musicals such as NOAH and its newest monstrosity, an adaptation of the book of DANIEL now playing in Branson, MO, they try to emulate the better-known, and better, productions of Lin-Manuel Miranda, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Alan Menken, and my fellow Steves, the late great Mr. Sondheim and the Wicked cool Mr. Schwartz.

To be honest, I have no desire to see NOAH, (One of the things S&S likes to boast about is live animals on stage and in the audience, and if NOAH indeed has two of every animal, all that stench for two hours is not worth the schlep!) so,with Purim right around the corner,I watched their must-miss production of QUEEN ESTHER (so you don't have to),and it failed to tick any of the boxes. No memorable numbers, (Think "Popular," "Defying Gravity", "The Room Where It Happened," etc.) no comic relief, (Think "You'll Be Back," "Hakuna Matata," or the traditional Purimspielen, or Purim plays, filled to overflowing with public Haman shamin' and pop culture references built around the common theme, "They kicked our butts, we kicked their butts, let's eat.") no superstars, (Maybe it's all for the best.) and worst of all, no sense. (Why is Hadassah, the nice Jewish girl who will be queen, wearing a chador at the beginning?) I guess the reason why the filmed version has no credits is that they 're all in Witness Protection.

I will spare you the agony by NOT linking you to the website or giving you directions by plane,train or automobile (There IS another S&S in Branson MO. There are a LOT of better dinner -theaters there.)

Long story short: If any of your friends ask you if you want to see NOAH at the Sight and Sound,ask them back,"Do you mind if Amish it?"

Steve out!

 

2024: The Year In Review

 2024, as a year, wasn't very funny,

But we got it, babe, just like Cher had Sonny.

Kamala and Tim carried the ball from Joe,

But we have four more years of that other shmoe.

Israel and Hezbollah agreed the fire to cease,

But, once all the hostages come home we'll truly know peace.

New York's WCBS 880 stopped reporting the news,

And the Giants and Jets kept giving loyal fans the blues,

But, in college sports, the Columbia University Football Lions,

After more than sixty long years of unsuccessfully tryin',

Won their second Ivy League championship,

But, alas, they can't make a postseason National Champ trip.

The Yankees, all year, gave hope to a divided New York City,

But the Dodgers won the Series, and more is the pity.

Madison Square Garden, The World's Most Famous Arena,

Undoubtedly had never ever seen a

Rally like the one held by, I won't say his name,

But GLADIATOR II, set at the Second Most Famous Arena, won the box office game,

As did WICKED, which caused quite the social media crush.

At least you can't say they got the Baum's Rush!

KETCHUP AND MUSTARD, I mean DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE,

Was another box office hit that caused quite a scene.

New York loves the energy of the Garden's Knicks,

And the Rangers may very well satisfy their Stanley Cup fix.

The charts were populated by Sabrina Carpenter, and  Jelly Roll too.

And fickle fans started asking, "Taylor Who?"

No matter what happens in Twenty Twenty Five,

May you and your loved ones be happy and thrive.

Pay no attention to the trolls and their tricks.

And I hope we all make it to Twenty Twenty Six!

Good News, Bad News

 In the indiepop classic "Closing Time," the group Semisonic sings, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." 

After 23 years on 1050 AM and 12 years on 98.7 FM,ESPN New York, operated under licence granted by The Worldwide Leader In Sports by Good Karma Brands, is moving up the New York radio dial to the clear channel frequency of 880 AM,previously occupied by legendary all-news station WCBS, effective Monday,August 26.

As the leader of the Temple Emanu-El Gather Sports Fan Group and a long time fan of ESPN since it adopted a 24/7 program schedule in 1980, I should be happy that ESPN New York is moving down the dial and gaining a larger presence on the radio band along the Eastern Seaboard, bringing local personalities like Michael Kay, Don LaGreca, Rick DiPietro,and Anita Marks  and Knicks, Rangers, and Mets games to a larger audience,and providing a strong argument for AM/FM car radios in 2024 or later model automobiles, and I am.

But, and that's a very big BUUUUUUUUT,it comes at the expense of 57 years of broadcast history as All-News 88 says goodbye. Not only will I miss WCBS because it was my link to the world during Nixon's resignation,the reign of Donald Trump,and the tragedy of 9/11, among others, (and because, on a more personal level, my friends Mary Alice Williams, Patty Steele, and Anita Bonita, graced it with their intelligence, humor, and news savvy) but also because of the sports expertise of Pat Summerall, Spencer Ross, Jared Max, and, one of the few holdouts from the old order, Howie Rose, to name but a few. I understand that even radio giants like Audacy, WCBS' parent company, are struggling as new sports news media arise and professional sports  teams try to stay current, but too many of the stations that made radio the important medium it has been have been falling by the wayside and too many talented people must either seek employment elsewhere or retire. WCBS was that trusted New York neighbor, who told us what modifications we had to make on our way to school or work, or whether to just skip a day and wait until things blew over.

To those writers,reporters,producers,and engineers who always made sure WCBS was "More Than Just The Headlines," may God bless you and protect you in your future endeavors. To Team ESPN, good luck filling WCBS' Wilt Chamberlain-sized shoes. Something tells me you MIGHT need it.

FOLLOW UP: Saw the 2011 remake of FOOTLOOSE. What I said about the original stands. It's STILL a classic. Nuff said.

Steve out.

FOOTLOOSE (1984) An Appreciation

 When my congregation, the gorgeous Emanu-El of New York City, announced they would close out their summer movie series with FOOTLOOSE, I was of two minds. I mean, this was FOOTLOOSE, an 80's movie classic with a top-notch cast, a ton of Billboard Hot 100 hits, and the inspiration for a musical that sold out night after night on Broadway before flying across the Big Pond and bringing   West End audiences to their feet, I mean, what's not to love?

I thought, plenty. The bad guy, played by John Lithgow who plays them the way Louis Armstrong played the trumpet (like a master), is your standard Bible-thumping fire and brimstone preacher, and his daughter, played by Lori Singer with the sturm und drang that was also perfected by Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, and the Brat Packers of the day,is a rebel who prefers the degenerate rock and roll of the time to Reverend Daddy's lessons from Scripture.

But then, I had an epiphany, while we're using religious analogies: This movie was a stinging, scathing, and well-produced indictment of the conservatism that had swept the USA since Ronald Reagan took office. The hold Lithgow's character. the Rev. Shaw Moore, had upon the local school and the library, was not only very real back then, but also reminiscent of the Louisiana government making posters of the Ten Commandments mandatory in every school, religious or public, and banned books (and,in a few areas, book burnings), are still a thing. (If I may digress, #VelshiBannedBookClub has a lot of, as the kids say, awesome recommendations of books that Louisiana and Florida deem too hot to handle.You can also get them on Ali Velshi's self-titled MSNBC weekend gabfest, or wherever you get your podcasts.) Kevin Bacon, of Six Degrees fame, delivers one of his all-time great performances as Ren McCormick, a Chicago kid who moves with his mom to this boring town, and his best performance in the entire movie, bar none, is when he makes a case for dancing and rock and roll by quoting Scripture, i.e., Ecclesiates. ("It's OUR time to dance.")

While FOOTLOOSE is one of the quintessential 80's movies, it also resonates with today's audiences, as evidenced by the kids who were brought along to the screening at Emanu-El last night who couldn't help but move while sitting. (As one of the big kids in attendance, I certainly agreed.)

You can get loose with FOOTLOOSE on Paramount +, Freeform (ironically, formerly CBN Family Channel. That's a tale for another time.)or Prime Video. Don't worry, Mom and Dad, it's rated PG,which doesn't make it one of those pornographic pieces of trash Rev. Moore wants banned. Great movies never go out of style, and, despite my initial qualms, I believe FOOTLOOSE qualifies as one of them.

Steve out!

ANGELic or Just Plain Ick? You Decide This Summer!

 As I write this, Angel Studios, the scrappy independent studio that rose from the ashes of VidAngel, a streaming service that showed major motion pictures without all the sex,violence and cuss words, much to the chagrin of the Big Boys,is livestreaming ILLUMINATE 2024, the annual meeting of the Angel Guild whose members greenlight motion pictures and television shows that tell "stories that amplify light," and buy tickets for people who can't otherwise afford movie tickets through an initiative called "Pay It Forward." Having enjoyed most of those stories, the first three seasons of the award-worthy THE CHOSEN, the biography of New York 's original wonder woman,Mother Francesca CABRINI,YOUNG DAVID,a prequel to Angel's Thanksgiving 25 musical about the boy king,and HIS ONLY SON,a retelling of the story of Isaac, I anticipate SIGHT, starring Gregg Kinnear and telling the incredible story of a Chinese opthalmologist who escaped the Maoist regime and continued his practice on this side of the world,but the other Angel Summer of 24 release? Not so much.

Unfortunately,not even a studio named Angel is perfect,and they turned out a huge clunker in THE SHIFT, turning the Book of Job into a multiversal mishmash and nearly ruining the careers of otherwise talented people like Liz Tabbish and Sean Astin. It WAS approved by the Angel Guild which lends credence to the phrase, "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the American public." That could also be applied to the Halo-wood studio's 4th of July release,SOUND OF HOPE,a defacto sequel to the controversial SOUND OF FREEDOM,which, despite its noble intent to tell the story of the American lone wolf who broke up a Colombian child sex trafficking ring,espoused the QAnon agenda and received high praise from He Who Must Not Be Named. From what I have seen in the trailer despite HOPE 's subject matter,a sex trafficking ring in Possum Trot,TX,it seems to me like a case of Same Stuff Different Day. While I recommend SIGHT,and I can't wait to use my Angel freebie tomorrow to see it,(Full review to come!) stay FAR,FAR AWAY from SOUND OF FREEDOM. You'll thank Heaven you did!

Steve out!

2023 The Year In Review

 As the calendar pages head Back To December,

Here are the events we will always remember.

Elon Musk did once again try

To become Bigger Than The Whole Sky,

But, as usually has been the case,

Look inside his head, you'll find a Blank Space.

This year there was a lot of Bad Blood

Between actors and producers, both should be called mud,

And those producers and writers who words make us smile,

But their stoppage has stopped. Late night is back in true Style.

The weather really gave us a Cruel Summer,

And the Yanks and Mets combined? One big bummer.

Dear Reader, we must say a prayer

For Israel and the innocent hostages there

As the Star of David flag is proudly unfurled

And the Jews ever search for A Place In This World.

Donald Trump,once America's Anti-Hero,

Has been knocked down to a giant zero.

But his election rhetoric he still will cough.

Hey, Don Baby, Shake It Off!

Ron deSantis, You Need To Calm Down

And let the Mouse be the Man in Orlando Town.

As you all know, 'Tis the Damn Season

To wish you the best, whatever the reason.

And Ms. Taylor Swift, a few words for you.

Glad you had a great year, but Look What You Made Me Do!

Steve