Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Dogs and Cats, to the 2014 edition of Santa Steve's Naughty List, the first of two year-end specials wherein we count down the best and worst newsmakers of the year. ICYMI (or, In Case You Missed It), the two naughtiest newsmakers of '13 were those jerks who turned the Boston Marathon into a nightmare and the two nicest were Miles "Batkid" Scott, who upheld law and order in San Francisco thanks to Make-A-Wish, and the late,great president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela. Who gets the coal in their stocking and a $100 donation to charity in their name, respectively, THIS year? There's only one way to find out... LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!
Yep, the Steve in Steve's Blog. Moi. Yo. Io. Mir. I haven't been cranking out as many blogs this year as I did this year. MY BAD! I'm going to make it up to you in 2015!
10. THE FILTHY ANIMALS
They never give up, do they? I'm surprised nobody before WNBC reporter Michael Garguilo called the Times Square costumed performers in ratty Mickey Mouse, Elmo, and Spider-Man outfits "panhandlers," but if the shoe fits! They took their case to the City Council and the politicians were, understandably, underwhelmed. Their next costume should be as normal human beings with actual jobs!
9. BILL DEBLASIO
What kind of New York City Mayor eats pizza with a knife and fork, shows up late for memorial services (and key media events), and wants to eliminate those iconic Central Park carriage horses? This guy.
8. MILEY CYRUS
Just when I thought her inner Hannah Montana had risen to the top when she allowed a homeless friend to accept her MTV Video Music Award in her name and deliver a tearjerking speech on the plight of homeless youth, it turns out this guy has been wanted in a few states and not wanted in all the rest! Add to that continued displays of outrageous behavior and your blogger has come to the inescapable conclusion: If Miles wants to escape her Disney past, she should stop acting Goofy!
7. THE NEW YORK YANKEES
They could have let Derek Jeter retire in true championship style with another World Series victory, but did they? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
6. ALL OTHER NEW YORK TEAMS, EXCEPT THE ISLANDERS
Get with the program, guys, and get some touchdowns, goals, and slam dunks! I'm talking to you, Giants, Knicks and Rangers!
5. HOWARD STERN
I love the fact that you delivered the eulogy for your friend Joan Rivers at my favorite synagogue, gorgeous Congregation Emanu-El on Fifth Avenue, but did it HAVE to be so profanity-laced, Sterno? If you can rein it in for AMERICA'S GOT TALENT, surely you can tone it down at a funeral!
4. MOTHER NATURE
Why did it have to be so dang cold this past summer and so dang warm in the last few weeks? As a citizen of Manhattan, I naturally have a preference over Buffalo, but what happened to them shouldn't happen to a dog! Go snow in somebody else's city!
3. KATHIE LEE GIFFORD
I haven't heard your TODAY show musical yet, but based on your sparkling track record with your Broadway musical based on the life of Aimee Semple McPhereson, Sondheim has NOTHING to worry about!
2. BILL COSBY
On the late, unlamented Sesame Workshop-produced health show FEELING GOOD, (Full disclosure: My cousin Bob Bendick, who also worked on TODAY, was the producer for this well-intentioned turkey.) Bill Cosby attempted to show his basketball prowess, and legendary sportscaster Howard Cosell commented,"William Henry Cosby, Junior. You call yourself a comedian. How accurate that description after that laughable excuse for a slam dunk." Equally laughable is how well Cos is attempting to live up to his America's Dad image after recent allegations of molestation. I used to be a big fan of this guy. I saw him at Radio City Music Hall during his reign as King Of Thursday Night and at Kaufmann Astoria Studios for his shortlived Americanization of the British comedy "One Foot In The Grave," and watch his many TV projects, especially FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS. He just eliminated any respect I still had for his extensive body of work. I can't repeat exactly what SNL Weekend Update anchor Michael Che said to Cos who has chastised African-American men on their lewd and lascivious behavior, but, at the risk of sounding racist, talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
And the absolute, WORST newsmaker of 2014 is...
THE ISLAMIC STATE OF IRAQ AND SYRIA
We WILL kick your butt!
NEXT: THE NICE LIST!