Sunday, August 30, 2015

Steve's First (And Probably Last) Joke Blog

My last two blogs were sooooooooooo serious, I've decided to lighten the mood with a few jokes. (Don't worry, this blog is rated PG!)

Why does Misty Copeland wear a tutu?
The one-one was too small and the three-three was too big.

What did Taylor Swift say when she passed up the classical music tickets?
We are never, ever, ever, getting Bach together.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom?

Why did the dog wear a sweater?
It was a chilli dog.

Why are they pirates?
They just arrrrgh.

Speaking of pirates, this pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. His old bud looks at him and says, "Yo, Blackbeard, wassup with that towel?" He replied, "Arrrrgh, I've a Bounty on me head!"

This frog needed money and so he took his prized lamp to the bank where he met Loan Officer Patricia Mack. He asked her for a loan and he would gladly use the lamp for collateral. She gave him a long, quizzical look. He replied, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Mack, give a frog a loan!"

Why did the Stupid Guy put his money in a circle?
He wanted to make ends meet!


"Doctor Stupid Doctor, everybody ignores me!"
The Stupid Doctor said, "NEXT!"

"Doctor Stupid Doctor, my ear keeps ringing."
The Stupid Doctor said, "Get an unlisted ear."

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart who?
How soon they forget!

For now, friends, the Blog is (mercifully) over. Have a happy Labor Day and GO IN PEACE!
Steve out!

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