Saturday, June 3, 2017

Covfefe Wars Episode 2: The Covfefe Strikes Back

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Covfefe and all the covfefes at sea, let's go to covfefe!

My last blog on President Donald J. Covfefe and his contribution to the literary world (ANYBODY can make a spelling missteak! For covfefing out loud, why didn't this son of a covfefe just delete the word and talk about the negative press COVERAGE!) elicited so many positive responses, I've decided to imagine what would happen if other important people had used that word in lieu of more coherent language. (In a somewhat related development, I'm still trying to figure out who put the bomp in the bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp!)

Suppose the Beatles' first movie, regarded by many as the first longform music video, was called "A Hard Day's Covfefe" and the group's leader, John Covfefe, went on to challenge us to "Imagine no covfefe!"

Suppose Winston Churchill told the allies, "We have nothing to offer but blood, sweat and covfefe!"

Once upon a time, I made the mistake of comparing Sir Goofs-A-Lot to Walt Disney. I know it MAY be a bit painful, but imagine if Unca Walt wasn't the avuncular father figure we all knew and loved, but a little more Trumpish: "To those who come to this happy covfefe, we just built a big, beautiful wall around it and you're gonna pay to maintain it!"

Remember Elvis' first hit song, "You Ain't Nothing But A Covfefe?"

In another related development, Darth Covfefe has made a more insegrievious (Thank you, Gary Owens!) mistake by pulling America out of the Paris Treaty. You keep this up, Buddy, and there WON'T be an America anymore, or a world for that matter! (And all you conservative bloggers out there making remarks about CEO's who strongly disagree with Donald Dork's environmental policies, would you PLEASE...

SHUT THE COVFEFE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

A tip of the covfefe to Disney's Bob Iger, Virgin's Sir Richard Branson, Elon Musk,Exxon Mobil, Vice-President Al Gore, and everybody else placing the needs of the Earth over the wants of one orange-skinned butt head.

I leave you with a classic benediction from a way smarter and funnier guy than Mr. Drumpf, the MARVELous Stan Lee: "Let's take care of ourselves. After all, we're the only human race we've got!"

Bye Buckaroos!

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