Sunday, September 29, 2013

#67Steve's Movie Blog: A Dustin Hoffman Movie You May Have Missed (Aren't You Glad?)

FULL DISCLOSURE: Although AMC Networks is  owned by Jim Dolan,who also pays the salaries of my good friends at Madison  Square Garden,  including the nice ladies who suggested this fine blog, I DON'T RECALL WATCHING AN EPISODE OF "BREAKING BAD" FROM BEGINNING TO END! I WILL extend my condolences to all Walter White's loyal fans as well as the people  behind the scenes, and I DID  hear that Walt was tortured by forcing to watch the subject of the following movie review  and that the director himself was  no huge fan of his own work. I review, you decide. (Actually, I DECIDE! That's how these things work!) Anywho...

MISTER MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM (G) FOX Home Entertainment Starring Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman and Jason Bateman Available from Amazon, Netflix, and many retailers, but, then again, you COULD order a nice new book from  Amazon  or a better movie from Netflix.

Dustin Hoffman is Mister Magorium, (and he keeps reminding us  and reminding us  and REMINDING US that his name isn't Steve, and I don't find that  even one IOTA funny, for obvious reasons)and his Wonder Emporium is a living toy store, which he runs with his stooge, I mean, APPRENTICE, a young Natalie Portman (who has danced her way to better things).He decides to"leave" the store and give it to Portman's character, Molly Mahoney, a young girl who's unsure about her ability to follow in her mentor's footsteps. When  she questions her abilities, the store throws a tantrum (I am NOT making that one up!)and starts throwing merchandise at the customers. He hires an accountant (Bateman) who disputes the magical abilities of the store, and I  can't honestly blame him.We think Magorium wants to retire, as do Mahoney and the accountant, but actually, he checks into a mental hospital because he's afraid he's going to die. This in a fun family movie. Yah-stinkin'-HOO. This movie tries to recapture the magic of Disney at the height of his powers and movies such as "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," but the laughs are few and far between, and I imagine audience members in the unit age block  squirming and asking, nay, DEMANDING
that Mom and  Dad turn the player off NOW. Hoffman has played memorable characters from The Graduate to Rain Man to Tootsie. It goes without saying that Magorium is  NOT one of them. KICK IT, watch BREAKING BAD, and tell me how it all came out, because I got ONCE UPON A TIME on the DVR and I'm watching the football game.

Bye, Buckaroos!
MY name IS Steve.

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