Good morning, afternoon,or evening, ladies and gentlemen, sports fans and fannies (as Norm Crosby used to say), and welcome to the end of an error.
First of all, I'm still Steven L. Eisenpreis, the host and star of this, the fifth fantastic edition of Steve's Blog, but as of the afternoon of today, May 29, 2013,John Tortorella is NO LONGER THE HEAD COACH OF THE NEW YORK RANGERS!
That's right, friends! Old Johnny Torts is through, finito, kaputsky,yesterday's news,history,the entire Patrick-Duffy-is-dead season of DALLAS, (He's only a dream, Pam!)Audi 5000,no longer welcome at MSG!
I, and the rest of the Rangerverse,DID see this coming! Just when I thought that Memorial Day would be marked by parades, barbeques auto races and Broadway Blueshirt hockey, the Boston Bruins outplay, outscore, and outshoot my heroes.
Jay Tee, if you're reading this, don't worry.
The 7-11 across the street from One Penn Plaza is hiring.
In case you just tuned in, John Tortorella has been relieved of duty, let go, sacked.bounced,bagged,sent on a
LOOOOOOOOOOOONG vacation, or as my old friend Donald J. Trump used to say,
"YOU'RE FIRED! GO!"
I'm sure he's asking Scarlett O' Hara's tear-drenched question, "But, where will I go, what will I do?"
How about FAR AWAY and SELF-DESTRUCT?
John Tortorella is no longer the Rangers head coach.
The future's so bright, we Ranger fans gotta wear shades.
Before I close, I would like to send a shout-out to our newest reader, Genesis Botero from the WNBA New York Liberty. Welcome aboard, Gen! Hope the ladies succeed where the guys (I'm talking to you too, Knicks!) have failed!
You've been reading the "Do You Believe In Miracles? Tortorella Has Been Axed!"portion of Steve's Blog, and of course, comments and questions are ALWAYS welcome. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Google, but I'm sure the Ranger fans at the 75 Ninth Avenue office agree. Anyone? Anyone? Portions of the preceding show were last seen sending applications to Madison Square Garden. This periodical may not be sold, except by authorized dealers, and is sold subject to the conditions that it shall not be sold or distributed with any part of its cover or markings removed, nor in a mutilated condition, nor to John Tortorella.
On behalf of the staff and management, this is your announcer reminding John Tortorella it could have been worse: He could have managed the 1988 Yankees!