Saturday, May 25, 2013

Steve's First Movie Review Blog! (Yay!)

Good morning, afternoon, or evening, ladies and gentlemen, buoys and gulls, (Seeing images of Coney Island  this morning made me wish the Mermaid Parade, which  I'll explain in greater length as time goes on,would swim on in here already!) and welcome to the third mind-boggling edition of Steve's Blog, and I am, as  always, your happy host, Steven Long Eisenpreis. Before we go any further, it's time for the first installment of a new feature I like to call: (Drumroll, please.)

LETTER HAVE IT! (Actually it should be Let Him Have It, but as an old PUNdit from way back, I think THIS title is pure gold.)

Today's comment comes from Bettijane of New York City (a close relative, I'll explain THAT as time goes on) and it concerns "Rain,Rain. Go Away!", which happens to be the last blog. She writes:

"While I may be prejudiced, (OK,OK, I admit it, she's my Mom!) this blog made me laugh out loud in several places. And having been out in the wind in the rain while you were writing, I share your meteorological displeasure."

Thanks, Bettijane, or Mom! I hope you, and the rest of the nice people out there in Webland, don't mind if I hold back on the personal stuff for ONE MORE POST, because I have a movie review to get to. In the meantime, keep those posts coming in!

Oooooooooookay, let's get to the main order of business, namely the first movie review in the history of this blog. Unlike many reviewers, I'll call 'em like I see 'em.  If I believe a movie is at least worth a teeny tiny look, I'll tell you to get a TICKET. If I believe it's worth avoiding at all costs, I'll tell you to KICK IT to the curb.

First up is EPIC,(Rated PG for mild action, rude language, and some scary images)  produced by Blue Sky Studios, distributed by 20th Century Fox, directed by Chris Wedge, written by James V. Hart, Wedge, and
the creator of Disney Channel's acclaimed "Rollie Pollie Ollie," William Joyce,  from Joyce's own book, "The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs," and starring the voices of, among others, Amanda ("Mamma Mia") Seyfried, Jason ("SNL") Sudekis,John ("Adventure Time") DiMaggio, fellow Steven and former American Idol judge Steven Tyler,Pitbull a/k/a Mr. Worldwide,Aziz ("Parks and Recreation") Ansari, and others too numerous to mention, in fact, if I mentioned them all, I wouldn't get to the danged review!

Anywho, the story (which kinda takes a backseat to the beautiful computer-generated animation which is expected from the studio behind the ICE AGE series) concerns Mary Katherine, or M.K. as she prefers to be called (Seyfried) and her divorced/widower dad, Bomba (Sudekis) who devotes all his time to finding new life forms within the forest outside their palatial Westchester County residence. His research and refusal to accept the fact that M.K. is practically a grownup nearly send her back to the Big City, but the aforementioned Leaf Men and their Queen, Tara, (Beyonce Knowles, who does her best, but should NOT give up her day job) have need of her if they're going to defeat Mandrake (a very creepy Christoph Waltz) and his armies.

A veritable plethora of comic voices keep the movie from drowning in its cliched tree-hugging, (I love the Earth as much as the next guy, but this movie boldly goes where many have gone before.) and although it doesn't really live up to its name, it's great fun for the kid in all of us, maybe moreso for actual professional kids. TICKET!

As I  keep saying, your comments are always appreciated, and the opinions expressed are not necessarily those of Google or its many sponsors, and it DOES have a lot of 'em! And now, it's time to roll my own end credits:

You've been reading the "It-May-Not-Be-All-That-Epic-But-At-Least-It-Doesn't-Stink!" portion of Steve's Blog.  The part of Steven Eisenpreis was played by Brad Pitt. (Not really!) Portions of the preceding show were last seen on the popcorn line. On behalf of the management and staff, this is your announcer reminding you, you know Hollywood's run out of ideas when one of the animated blockbusters of the summer has the same name as a record company, an adult illustrated sci-fi magazine, TWO adult comics lines from Marvel,
AND a toothpaste.(Hey,they had to name it something!)

Let's Go Rangers, Happy Weekend, and...

Bye, Buckaroos!

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