Sunday, January 25, 2015

3.2 Snow Way This Is Happening!

ATTENTION EVERYBODY IN THE NORTHEAST PREDICTING A BLIZZARD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS:

Would you PLEASE...

SHUT THE HECK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's just going to be a few flakes on Tuesday and not Armageddon (or Snowmageddon), so take a chill pill, watch some old movies, count to ten, in short, RELAX!

Other than that, I run a clean ship, so, if you're coming here looking for some jokes about deflated balls, try looking for Howard Stern's blog.

This whole Deflategate thing is another example of much ado about nothing. (Or, as they say in the restroom at the New York Shakespeare Festival Public Theatre, much #2 about nothing, and THAT'S as off-color as I'm going to get.) Why don't we leave the science to the professionals and focus on what's important: FOUR FIFTEEN-MINUTE QUARTERS OF SMASH MOUTH FOOTBALL IN BEAUTIFUL ARIZONA!

Since I think Tom Brady is the closest thing the NFL has to Derek Jeter, (although Jetes himself didn't cheat as much as Brady is alleged to) I have respect for the history of New England, AND I have to admire Bill Bellichek's chutzpah, Stevie the Geek picks the New England Patriots to win Super Bowl 49.

(If your kids are football fans, check out Nickelodeon's new family comedy BELLA AND THE BULLDOGS. Bella Dawson (Bree Bassinger) is a cheerleader of the hapless Silverado High School Bulldogs until the star QB is injured and Coach picks HER of all people to put on the pads. This comedy from a producer of HANNAH MONTANA kicks off Saturdays at 9 PM Eastern, and it scores a touchdown every time!)

Gotta cut this short, but until next time, stay calm, kiss your mom, ban the bomb, do the best you can, remember, God loves you, man!

JE SUIS CHARLIE!
Steve

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