I KNOW I was going to hang up the old blogger's hat for a week, but there are three things I couldn't let go:
1) WHY have I lost the UK,Mexico,Denmark, Indonesia AND South Korea? Was it my last post? I didn't know the UK was so danged sensitive about the Fourth of July. I thought we were bestest best buds! Wo' hoppen? Mexico, lo siento for that thing about Montezuma's revenge, I was trying to be FUNNY, get a sensahumor for Pete's sake! And you, Denmark,did you leave the blog because I called the originally generic Little Mermaid Ariel? I thought you'd appreciate the influx of visitors to the Mermaid statue in Copenhagen! We do and do and do for you guys, and THIS is how you pay us back?!? And as for YOU, Indonesia, did you even HEAR me ask, "Where's Donesia? If it's IN Donesia, where's Donesia?" And,South Korea, what did I ever do to YOU?!? I LOVE Psy, even if his fame clock IS at 14:59!(In a somewhat related development, I've found out China was reading this blog for some of the past month. I WAS going to complement them on giving me incentive to walk through the streets of Manhattan when they were closed to traffic the same week of the Olympic Marathon when everybody was running through the streets of Beijing.
Oh,well, that ship has sailed.) I'm still worried about Canada, if that Canada Day tribute didn't get them back, (sigh) nothing else will.
2) Speaking of things I should know, I know I should be sensitive to the good people of Phoenix, AZ who are dealing with those wildfires, but YOU LIVE IN ARIZONA! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HOT! IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, MOVE TO GREENLAND!
3) If anybody finds the REAL New York Yankees, could they please return them to One East 161st Street in the Bronx? The impostors playing there dropped another game to Baltimore and are dangerously close to LAST PLACE!
NOW I can go on my merry way! See you on July 6, barring any MORE unseen circumstances!
Have a Glorious Fourth!